Don't Worry, Keep Juggling

It's a juggling act most days.  I added a couple pins to the routine with college classes, but the motions are the same.  There are just more of them. And, of course, a couple pins are lopsided and don't want to go where I toss them.

The math lab for college is so slow it takes me hours to complete one assignment.  "Be patient," My instructor emailed, as three other classes await my attention.  

My ten year old seems to have less of an attention span than ever in her life.  I spend a long time in the mornings dedicated to working with her, and it still took her until five p.m. today to finish her school work.  Why?  Because she procrastinates.  She works in slow-mode, not wanting to get going in the mornings, stopping often for any reason she can think of, and just not working very diligently.  I'm at a loss about what to do at this point.

But I press on, because God pointed me in this direction, and I know He has it handled.  I know that I may have less free time than a year ago.  I know that the laundry sometimes has to be rewashed because I forgot it overnight in the washer.  I know that my seventeen year old made an awesome chicken salad for dinner while I was fighting with the notorious math   lab.  I know that my ten year old took a long time for school, but she spent a long time making baskets out of clay and enjoying learning about art.

I know that life is hectic right now, but I wouldn't trade this journey for anything.  I know that I get the privilege of spending time in the Bible every morning with my two homeschooling daughters.  I know that I got to read parts of Galatians with my seventeen year old this morning as we delved into the teachings of Paul.  I know that I get to teach my ten year old about Creation as we read through Genesis.  

If nothing else got accomplished or will be remembered, those times with my girls have made homeschooling worth the struggle.  What God does with it is not up to me.  It's up to me to pray and to be obedient to Him.

I have scheduled and done my best.  I have switched things up more than once.  I have felt the frustration as my carefully laid plans seem to backfire.  I have melted down as the pressure to do it all overwhelmed me. I promised myself I wouldn't stress myself out, I wouldn't rush in a panic, and then had to fight those very urges down when things began to fall apart once again.

He is in control.  Not me... for even my best laid plans will never be as vital as what He is trying to teach me. 

His will...  to let go when the day has overwhelmed me and to pick it all up the next day; to pray when those feelings of urgency and frustration began to knot up in my stomach; to trust when I am tired.

I have a class in a few hours.  Tomorrow is another day.  I found some amazing notebooking printables for my daughter's science...  if my printer will work! If not, oh well, I'll let it go for now.  I want that quiet confidence that says, even as life sometimes feels as if it is falling apart, "It will all work out.  Don't worry."