When Planning Fails

I keep failing.  

Yes, it's been a busy month.  Yes, there have been some personal issues that have distracted me.  Yes, my daughter just got married.  Yes, there have been some changes happening. 

Always in the past I could take the time and plan out school without a problem.  In fact, I usually enjoy it.  I love picking the books and splitting up the pages of books and workbooks into daily assignments.   I enjoyed deciding what to do when.  Even the planned for me curriculum usually had stuffed tweaked and changed.  That's the beauty of homeschooling... tailored education to meet the needs of my children.

Then this summer happened.  I have planned Megan's year twice.  Both plans are completely different.  I am not happy with either.  I started planning Laura's senior year, and I can't get past one subject.  Nothing is flowing.  It's like writer's block, but for homeschool plans. 

So, I finally got frustrated and quit.  The books are piled up, ready to be placed into a planner.  But my mind is not there.  I decided to give myself a break, instead of driving myself crazy trying to make something for and feel right. 

The problem isn't the curriculum or making the plans.  The problem is that I'm going into my tenth year homeschooling and I see the flaws.  Oh, my children learn.  They do well in their assignments.  And there are parts they enjoy, but mostly they grudgingly do school.  There is no joy.

My daughter that is going into her senior year really only needs the required classes.  She is maxed out on electives.  I am considering lightening her load a little and giving her time to study what she wants. 

Same goes for the ten year old.  She is smart.  Lately she is so into Storms like tornadoes and hurricanes.  She is checking out every book from the library, watching documentaries on Netflix, and even chose a book on tornadoes from Barnes and Noble.  

Today was the summer reading program at the local library.  I sat there looking at the books and thought how wonderful it would be to just let the younger one spend some time just researching and learning about all the quirky things that interest her. Would it really be so bad?

I tried this last year, and it didn't go as I assumed it would.  The problem wasn't my daughter, it was me.  I began planning school books for what was supposed to be a delight directed study.  By the time it was done, my daughter wasn't following her own interests.  She was back to our curriculum.  I just couldn't let go like I should. 

But this year, I want to give her the chance.  Maybe both of them, to a degree.  I'll still have some structured assignments, because I am not brace enough to unschool entirely.  However, I do think it would be a nice change of pace.  If, come January, they aren't learning or seem to need more structure once again, back to the curriculum we can go.

I sure want my daughters to love learning again.  I want to see that spark in their eyes when they get excited about a topic. I want to see how they learn when it isn't spoon-fed to them.

This time, I'm not scared.

Step-Parenting can be Worth It

It's been a long, surreal, beautiful day.  The daughter that I have loved since she was two, the daughter that was born from another, was married today.

 I am the step-mom.  But for us we never looked at step.  This caused problems through the years, and I'm sorry for hurt feelings, but I honestly wouldn't change a thing.  Why?  

The odds were against my husband and me from the start.  We had a 67% chance of divorce.  I had been married before.  He hadn't, but he had been engaged.  Adding to the mix we brought three children between us, and added another within a year. 

There were battles other families didn't have to face.  These weren't even the typical "step" issues.  These were more intense, more terrifying, more critical.  We fought battles for children to stay alive.  We fought battles in courts.  It was never what we wanted, but we endured.  

 

I watched this beautiful blond cherub grow into this amazing young woman, despite all the odds.  So many times, I had to put what was "normal" for what was best.  We had holidays together, even if the holiday had passed or was days away, because we were splitting a schedule.  We made special memories on purpose.  We smiled through the ballgames and  choir concerts, even when we had no inclination to get along with the other parent. But we did it because so much of this wasn't about us. 

I'm not reaping any glory for myself.  We made plenty of mistakes. We let negative feelings take over at times (especially me)!  We were broken by circumstances and broke from expenses.  We watched in fear as things that were out of our control swirled like a hurricane threatening to consume us all.  We prayed for things and didn't see an answer for so many years we just assumed God was saying no.

My mom told me in the midst of a very hard, dark time some advice that stayed with me.  She said, "Children don't stay young.  They grow up... and they remember.  They remember who was on their side.  They remember who made the hard choices.  They remember who was there.  They remember more than most realize."

I remembered that advice.  It helped me through many trials. There were fights that we had to fight, that we couldn't back down from because they were about what was right or what was best for the child.  But so much of what parents see when they are overwhelmed and upset is not the big stuff.  It's petty stuff.  

This seems especially true of step-families.  That child you are fighting with your ex over, he or she will grow up.  Quit fighting over the stuff that doesn't matter!  That doesn't mean you shouldn't ever stand up for yourself, but it does mean that the adults in the situation need to be the adults and put the child first.

Who cares if you have to split holidays?  Yes, it sucks often! My step-daughter did miss some things, even as we tried to include her as much as we could. Extended families can't always rotate schedules around your visits with your kid.  But Thanksgiving and Christmas don't always have to be on the calendar holiday.  We had many Christmases the day before or the day after.  We made our special plans as often as we could for when all the kids could be there.  Birthday parties were when all the kids were at our home.  We made memories.  We enjoyed each other.  It wasn't perfect.  It was hard many times.  But, we did the best we could. 

I helped raise this little girl that has been an integral part of my life for eighteen years, and I couldn't be more proud.  I couldn't love her more if I had given birth to her.  I can't believe we made it this far.  The obstacles were so hard, but with God we made it through them. 

Don't give up.  Just keep pushing forward.  Just keep going. When you screw up... and you will... apologize and keep going forward. It won't be easy.  In fact, it will occasionally feel like you can't make it.  But it will be worth it in the end. 

The Summer of Change

"This summer feels different." My sister told me.

She is correct.  It feels different.  It feels as if time is slipping by.  It feels as if life is changing.  And, for me, it is.  Tomorrow another daughter will be getting married.  This will leave me two girls still at home, still in my homeschool.  But one is in her senior year.

It's as if a new season of life is upon me. The days of having a house full is passing.  The days of having all these little ducklings is done.  And, while it is bittersweet, I'm okay.  I threw myself into being a mom.  I was the soccer mom.  I made homemade bread and cooked large meals.  I was at nearly every game and choir concert.  I was the Girl Scout leader.  I took thousands of pictures, of the big moments and the every day moments.  

And I'm not done.  My youngest is ten.  And the new phase of "grandma" arrived a few months ago with the birth of my grandson.  I enjoy him so much!  And isn't that a key to life? To throw yourself into the moments?

I gave up a lot to be home with my children, homeschooling them.  And I would do it again in a heartbeat.  We only get so much time with them before they are grown.  The days are slow, but the years are fast.  I don't regret my time with my children and I never will!

But the right now feels different in other ways also.  I have come to a crossroads in me, and it is time for some changes. The last year has already held some changes.  I began college.  I changed my eating habits and became much more active.

Changes.  They aren't always easy.  They can be difficult.  The person making the changes has to fight the urge to just remain in their habits.  The people around the person making the changes can get upset that things are changing.  Changes happen all the time.  Some good and some not so good.  I have been the person left wondering and hurting when someone else changes.  I have also been the person that knew changes needed to be made.

One thing that is always certain is that things change.  Children grow up and get married.  People fight illnesses.  Accidents happen.  People grow and change, and sometimes they outgrow or need a different path.  Sometimes changes are made to save a relationship.  It may be temporarily uncomfortable, but in the long run will be for the best.

Is this summer different?  In the grande scheme, probably not for most.  But for me, it is. I don't regret being with my children for their growing years, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't take care of myself.  Moms put themselves last many times. I have.  There have been times as a mom where I have had to take time for myself to recharge.  There have also been times where I have had to change things completely to be the mom my kids needed...  healthy, strong, and with a good attitude.  Occasionally moms let that 'putting others first' carry over from their children to other people or places or commitments. The problem can then arise of a woman being so concerned with the needs and wants of others that her own health, whether physical, spiritual, or mental, is weak and damaged. 

I don't want to be weak and damaged.  

A few days ago I realized I am that woman. I am weak. I am damaged. And I refuse to stay that way.  

Changes.  They are never easy, even when they essential.  

I realized that I don't want to be the woman I was allowing myself to become.  I felt desperate all the time...  desperate for validation, for approval.  I felt desperate for the past that no longer is, and all my striving won't bring its return. I felt desperate to be respected.  

It was all my insecurities thrown in my face.  I felt like once again I was the geeky new girl, in a new school every year, just wanting to be accepted and liked by people that had no need of me.  And when I didn't meet expectations, when I stepped out of that box to give voice to my feelings, the reactions were varied and harsh.  Rejection.

It was at that moment that I realized that I was a fool. In a moment of hurting, stunning clarity, I saw the painful reality.  People only change when the cost of remaining the same is too high. For me, scraps from others was no longer enough.  See... when you are a people pleaser, you will be grateful for the scraps because you don't feel worth more.

Scraps...  leftovers...  

...The time available if friends are too busy,  but the inclusion isn't with the friends, because you aren't one of the them.  The obligatory... because it's what you have to do.  The half-hearted, to placate the wounded feelings. 

A person that falls into this trap of accepting these things as a full meal will eventually starve.  I was starving.  I knew... I knew the entire time... but I accepted it because I was desperate and lonely and hurting.

Changes.

Eventually the changes must come.  

I've spent days crying at the feet of Jesus, repenting for accepting scraps from others when He has life to the full available.  I've asked Him to soothe the hurts in others because of the changes He has asked me to make that others won't like.  I've asked Him to take away my desperation, and fill me with His acceptance and His love.  And I've asked Him to let me see those that live on scraps, so that I can encourage them. 

This summer is different.  It's a time of change.  

What an Angry Mom Teaches Her Children

It's an angry world.  The United States is very divided along political and religious lines.  Flooding both sides is anger... and pride.  No one is listening to the other side, instead only listening to others that believe just like them.  Then, it becomes easy to trash the other side and leave a wake of hurt and destruction behind.

I'm not looking to heal all the ills of society.  A couple of years ago I set standards for myself about not contributing to the problem, especially on social media.  But anger exists apart from the divide in this country.  In fact, anger may begin at home. 

For years, anger was a part of me.  It was the chip on the shoulder, the edge that I presented.  It was a part of me, deep inside, that flowed out routinely to damage those around me.  After a period of intense stress, that anger literally made me ill.  It hurt my relationships with loved ones.  It came in between my relationship with God.  It definitely damaged my testimony.

Sometimes in life, there are circumstances and situations that are unjust.  They can cause anger, because that is a normal reaction to injustice.  But, when those situations persist over an extended period of time, anger becomes a defense mechanism to every perceived wrong.  It becomes a habit, especially when it is used to control and manipulate others.

As an angry mom, I was a mess.  I loved my children fiercely, but I was exhausted much of the time.  That alone leads to emotional messes because being tired makes it difficult to be logical.  But the problem went much deeper than exhaustion.  I had been hurt. In that hurt, I lashed out often.  I was overwhelmed, especially when circumstances were out of control and hard and I had too much on my plate.  I went through some things that brought out the worst in me, that left me feeling powerless and defeated and angry at the world.  It is very important that, when you go through tough times, you don't let yourself be damaged.  The tough time will never really go away if you carry the damage forward into other parts of your life, including your parenting.

Anger stems from many sources.  Yes, there is ego and pride.    Anger can also stem from depression and anxiety.  I was depressed, and anger gave me a feeling of control in situations that were out of control.  The flood of adrenaline can be addicting when battling anxiety or depression.  It was created for extreme fight or flight scenarios, but over time it makes a person physically ill.

As an angry mom, I would use anger to manipulate and control.  My children didn't want mom to be mad.  They felt as if they had failed, over and over, because Mom was always angry or upset about something.  One time my oldest daughter told me that, because of my anger over a situation that seemed to never end and took such an emotional toll, that she had lost her mom because of it.  It was a shock to my system because I was just trying to survive at the time.  I felt that I had failed as a parent, that I had let my anger and emotional upheaval over the situation damage the rest of my life. 

There are as many reasons for a mom to be angry as minutes in the day.  Maybe the mom is resentful because she feels as if her children are keeping her from the life she wants.  Maybe she has too much on her plate and is overwhelmed.  Maybe she has chosen to have too much, and the pace has taken a toll.  Maybe life has placed her smack-dab in the middle of a situation that she isn't prepared to handle.  Maybe her priorities are screwed up and she is angry that her wants and dreams are not coming to fruition the way she wanted.  Maybe she has been through a difficult time and needs more support.  Maybe she doesn't hold motherhood as valuable.  Maybe she expects her children to be little adults, instead of children that make mistakes.  Maybe she feels entitled, and is resentful that she isn't getting all she wants.  Maybe she is battling health issues.  Maybe she craves attention and validation, and her children can't give her that.  Maybe she is simply immature.  Maybe she is selfish.

Maybe she feels it is her way or nothing.   This is bully parenting and is different from discipline.  This is about being authoritarian and not authoritative  There is a difference.  Elizabeth J. Short, PhD, associate director of the Schubert Center at Case Western Reserve University, says this, "Authoritative parents set clear expectations and can be hard on their kids. But they do it out of warmness and concern for a child’s betterment, whereas authoritarian parents say, "It’s my way or the highway." Authoritarian parents, Strong says, are "controlling and not warm. An authoritative parent is age-appropriately controlling and also warm."

Greg McKeown states in his book Essentialism, "I can do anything, but not everything."  Being a mother means that life has to be somewhat about family and the children.  That doesn't mean that a mom can't have anything for herself, but it does mean that her life has different priorities and focus.  Dreams that require total dedication might have to be put on hold or be a hobby for awhile.  One thing that children require is time.  If you can't give time to your children, don't become a mommy.  We don't need any more children in the world that feel as if they don't matter.  This doesn't mean making an idol out of our children, or ignoring responsibilities, but it does mean that your journey is no longer just about you.

Life has seasons.  There will be seasons of motherhood, and seasons when the children are grown and you can focus on different dreams.  Embrace motherhood.  If you are angry because you feel your children are taking time from other things, then it is time to grow up.  Life is not just about you.  And you are denying yourself of one of the most fulfilling roles in life because it isn't what you imagined it would be.

Let me say a word about discipline.  There is nothing wrong with disciplining your child.  Children need structure and boundaries and to be taught what is and isn't acceptable.  However, parenting is about balance.  If all that exists in your relationship with your children is discipline, expect a deteriorating situation.  If your children are dealing with discipline from anger, then they will eventually be broken and/or rebellious.  The Bible talks about turning the hearts of fathers to their children, and that means more than just showing them who is boss and punishing every misdeed.  God is a righteous judge, but He sent Jesus to take our punishment.  If we were punished for every mistake and every thing we did wrong, we would not be alive.  Jesus took our punishment and patiently guides us.  There is grace and mercy available to us and there should be for our children as well.  Balance punishment with love and patience and teaching and time and attention and bonding and making memories.   Our anger wants to make parenting about punishment, but when we consider Jesus, we have to realize that if He had dealt with us in anger, He wouldn't have died for us.

So, what does an angry mom teach her children?

 An angry mom teaches her children that they are never enough.  No matter how hard they work to try to please a parent, that parent is never satisfied or is only temporarily content... until they aren't.  An angry parent is never satisfied for long because they are continually looking for the faults, the flaws, and the mistakes.  Eventually a child will become either discouraged and depressed with no self-esteem, or they will rebel and stop trying to please an impossible parent.

An angry mom teaches her children to always be on guard, walking on eggshells, waiting for the next explosive moment.  Children with angry parents have been known to suffer PTSD, because they live continually in an uncertain environment where they never know what will happen.  They live afraid.  Eventually they will develop anger issues of their own or they will become a people-pleaser, trying to win the approval of others because they never got it at home.

An angry mom teaches her children to use emotion to manipulate others.  That is what the parent does, and a child will imitate the behavior with others in their lives.

An angry mom teaches her child that they aren't truly loved because everything is about the parent.  A child that feels as if they don't matter, or that every show of attention comes with a high price, will be more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, anger in themselves, and low-self-esteem.

An angry mom teaches her children to lie.  Any mistake the child makes is a cause for fear of reprisal.  So, the child will become secretive and lie to hide any mistakes because they know that if their angry mom (or dad) finds out, it will cause an unreasonable punishment.  Angry moms give unreasonable punishments, often humiliating the child or using physical and verbal abuse, because it is a measure of control.

Speaking of verbal abuse, an angry mom teaches her child that they have little value.  Continually calling them names, from ones like "jerk" to ones that are basically curse words, is abuse.  Degrading and belittling them is wrong.  It is telling your child that they aren't worth much.  Children believe what they are told.  Tell a child how horrible they are often enough and they will believe it and live it.

Angry moms teach their child to be angry.  Patterns are repeated generationally.  It can even become a family legacy. When you find angry moms, you will often find an angry grandmother and maybe an angry great-grandmother or father or grandfather.  Anger is one of those things that becomes a habit, a way to deal with life.  With the amount of anger in the world, it seems as if we have a lot of angry parents in the world.

There are times when I still fight anger.  Times in my life where I am being simply pummeled by demands or times when life feels crazy are times when I am most vulnerable.  I am learning to give myself a break and take the time for rest when needed.  Life is getting a little less complicated as my children get older and become adults.  Also, I know when I need, I can take the time to write or go for a walk or escape in a book.  I might find a friend to talk to that will give me good advice and positive encouragement.

Learning about my personality was very helpful.  I am not shy, so I had always assumed I was an extrovert.  As it turns out, I am an introvert, and I need my time to myself.  I need time to write and read and be alone with my thoughts and prayers.  This is how I recharge.  When I had a house full of young children, there was little time to recharge.  I was always surrounded by people.  I didn't have a lot of quiet.  I would stay up really late to have time alone, but then I would be exhausted.  Having time to myself, and time with God, is vital for me to let go of stress and help manage my emotions.  It gives me time to hand all the worries and struggles to Jesus, instead of thinking I have to fix everything or everyone. 

This is key for me:  I avoid others that are negative and angry.  I am very sensitive to moods and attitudes.  I think some people should have warning labels saying "Prolonged exposure can be detrimental to to your health."    I don't want to live angry any longer, and that means that I have to be extremely careful what and who I allow to influence me.   I listen to podcasts of other people that choose to be positive.  I gain a lot of perspective from those that have fought the battle of anger and come out on the other side.  Avoiding long-term exposure to people that are negative is key.  I can't avoid negative people all together, but I can limit my time with them.  I used to think that I could fix them by being positive around them.  It doesn't work.  I have learned that if a negative, angry person doesn't see that they are negative and angry, or doesn't care, they won't be as influenced by you as you hope and they will drag you down at the earliest possibility.

There is a saying that goes around that dismisses the problems anger can cause when parenting.  "We are all just doing the best we can."  It's crap.  Parenting is hard, I agree.  Yes, there are many doing the best they can with limited resources and energy.  But others aren't doing the best they can.  They are doing the best they want, and there is a big difference.  If you feel entitled to your anger, then you will do the best you want.  If you don't see it as a problem and, in fact, get a little high out of using your anger to manipulate and control, you are doing the best you want, not the best you can.  

My mothering has changed.  I still have areas of struggle, but for the most part, I physically get ill when I allow anger to course through me.  I have worked diligently to have strong bonds and healthy relationships with my children.  I'm not perfect and neither are they, but we love each other.  I pray that the anger issues I fought won't have passed on to my children.  They are smarter than me, though, and hopefully will not follow in my footsteps.

If you are an angry mom, it is time to face it and not make excuses.  It is time to make some changes to how you parent, to how you see your children, to your attitude, and to your habits and reactions.  Seek help if necessary.  You can change the course of your life and the lives of your children by choosing a different path. 

Chasing Slow

 Erin Loechner wrote a book that grabbed my attention from the first words.  Was it the fact that she moved away from all that was familiar for her husband?  Was it the fact that she loves writing?  Was it the fact that she and her husband made mistakes?  Was it the crushing feeling of failure when you have to file bankruptcy?  Was it the realization that what everyone else strives for isn't what you desire?

Yes... to all and more.

Reading about her husband's brain tumor, I felt as I do when I think of my daughters and their health battles.  Am I loving them and enjoying them?  Or am I focused on the disease they battle?  

Erin discovered what many are discovering, that stuff isn't the answer.  She discovered, also, that minimalism is only a tool.  It's only a method to help bring true values into focus.  Her journey, as told in this book, has lessons for everyone.  Sometimes that journey isn't a straight line, but one of twists and turns, setbacks and comebacks.

My journey into simple living has been a bit crazy.  My books and pictures still complicate simplicity because I have too many and love them so much.  And I homeschool, so books are part of the deal.  My wardrobe isn't capsule, but it isn't huge, either, because I am not much of a clothes hound.  

Erin showed me that it's okay to be on a journey and not a race.  It's okay to be working toward simplicity and not have it all figured out.  It's okay to make mistakes, or to have previous mistakes still part of you.

This book was not like most minimalism or living simply books.  There aren't a lot of tips for having a minimalist kitchen. This was a story, with a lot of life's messy twists and turns and heartaches and confusions.  We don't know the end from the beginning.  

If living simply is something you strive for, then I hope you read Chasing Slow.  Sometimes a story holds the best lessons. 

Are Simple Living and MInimalism a Fad?

Books, podcasts, blogs, news articles, stories... Simple living and minimalism are everywhere.  Some will argue the differences between them.  Others will protest any labeling at all because that complicates things.  Crossing political lines, religious lines, and racial barriers, the popularity of simple living and minimalism has grown and grown and grown.  We now have documentaries about minimalism.  We have created some mini-celebrities out of those that discuss and write about and "sell" the virtues of minimalism and simple living.

Like Fidget Spinners, is this a fad? 

I can see the popularity of this fading for some.  There are too many people that haven't learned the lessons that lead to minimalism.  They may get caught up in the hype, but then feel the need to surround themselves with things.  The psychological aspects of consumerism haven't been defeated.  As long as shopping and acquiring things brings a "high," a payoff inside people, then there will still be malls and cheap clothing.  Amazon is not about to close up shop because so many people have stopped purchasing their vast array of goods; especially since receiving anything in two days without the effort of leaving home is such a bonus. 

I also see that many people believe that living a "simple" life, with less things, is not for them.  They feel it is boring.  They enjoy their stuff.  They don't even consider reducing items often, because they get so much of their identity from their things.  It is simply a part of them and how they live. They see each item that surrounds them as representative of their life, of their significance.  They won't part with much because it would be like parting with a part of themselves.  They know, in their head, that they can't take it with them when they pass away, but the visual reminders around them reinforce their identity and, in many ways, bring them comfort.  Whereas I might struggle to part with something that has sentimental value, these people see nearly every item as having sentimental value.  To get rid of these things would be devastating to them.

Others struggle to get rid of things because they feel value from them.  They are the ones in the resale shop, buying this and that knick-knack.  (I have been this person in my past.)  Each item, while probably not really worth much, feels like it brings value anyway.  (Think Precious Moments figurines.)  Just the collecting seems to fill a void in them.  And so, they collect and shop and hunt for the things that they believe will help make them more complete on the inside.

But there are those of us that have tried that route, with complicated, stuff-filled lives, and been left empty and broke. There are those of us that tire easily of trying to compete with a standard with which we will never measure up.  There are those of us that feel the stress in their physical bodies when life gets complicated.

Some of us have had the severe stress of trying to do it all and have it all take a physical toll.  That's right, we have made ourselves sick due to high-stress lives.

So, while the popularity of simple living and minimalism may lag a bit as some feel that it just isn't for them, there will be those that intentional choose to live simply on purpose.  Their goal isn't to buy a bunch of things.  It will look different in some than in others, depending on what they value.  Some will live on homesteads, growing their own vegetables and raising chickens.  Others will have small homes and a love of travel.  Some may live in an apartment where they don't have to feel the pressure of fixing all that goes wrong.  Some won't look like minimalists at all, with a larger home, but they will have made the choice to reduce belongings or to reduce the demands on their schedule.

For me, the process has been one of starts and stops, ups and downs, and slow progress.  I minimized my outside the home obligations, only to start college.  Getting rid of things has been slow for me, but each bag and basket donated or trashed feels like a weight lifted.  My husband and I have cut our bills down and paid ahead on things where we could so that our one income living didn't seem so harsh, but then decided to help someone in hard times.  It isn't one smooth, easy process.  It's a journey, with mountains to scale and valleys to cross.  Simple living isn't always so simple. 

My Five Daughters

 

Probably the part of the journey that has brought about a simplification process in my life was my children slowly growing up.  A few short years ago I had five daughters in my home.  Life was different then.  Now three of them are grown.  One is married.  I have a grandson, who I adore.  Another daughter is getting married in a few weeks.  I have two children still at home.  One will be in her final year of high school.  My youngest is now ten.  Some of the changes in my life have happened because of the passage of time.  I am not "empty-nesting," but life is certainly not quite as chaotic as it was when I had a full house of daughters... and all their friends.

For this reason alone, I don't believe simple living and minimalism can be relegated to the status of "fad."  Life changes.  For me, it has gotten simpler.  I can look back at pictures from just a few years ago and wonder how I accomplished anything.  Now, I am home alone, which has been a rare event in my life, and just relish the quiet.  I feel no urge to fill the quiet with sound.  The quiet, broken only by the sound of my little dog eating and the birds singing in the June sunshine, is the sweetest sound in the world.  Simple living and minimalism won't blow away on the breeze like a fad.  In many cases, it is a rescue from a world of busy, loud, chaotic, shallow, and unkind.  It is a realization that all the stuff will never fill the hole inside; and a stress-filled life will kill a person faster than a smoker binge-eating McDonald's at a nuclear power plant that has been breached.

Fad?  Some will say so.  

Not me.  I am loving this journey.