When Planning Fails

I keep failing.  

Yes, it's been a busy month.  Yes, there have been some personal issues that have distracted me.  Yes, my daughter just got married.  Yes, there have been some changes happening. 

Always in the past I could take the time and plan out school without a problem.  In fact, I usually enjoy it.  I love picking the books and splitting up the pages of books and workbooks into daily assignments.   I enjoyed deciding what to do when.  Even the planned for me curriculum usually had stuffed tweaked and changed.  That's the beauty of homeschooling... tailored education to meet the needs of my children.

Then this summer happened.  I have planned Megan's year twice.  Both plans are completely different.  I am not happy with either.  I started planning Laura's senior year, and I can't get past one subject.  Nothing is flowing.  It's like writer's block, but for homeschool plans. 

So, I finally got frustrated and quit.  The books are piled up, ready to be placed into a planner.  But my mind is not there.  I decided to give myself a break, instead of driving myself crazy trying to make something for and feel right. 

The problem isn't the curriculum or making the plans.  The problem is that I'm going into my tenth year homeschooling and I see the flaws.  Oh, my children learn.  They do well in their assignments.  And there are parts they enjoy, but mostly they grudgingly do school.  There is no joy.

My daughter that is going into her senior year really only needs the required classes.  She is maxed out on electives.  I am considering lightening her load a little and giving her time to study what she wants. 

Same goes for the ten year old.  She is smart.  Lately she is so into Storms like tornadoes and hurricanes.  She is checking out every book from the library, watching documentaries on Netflix, and even chose a book on tornadoes from Barnes and Noble.  

Today was the summer reading program at the local library.  I sat there looking at the books and thought how wonderful it would be to just let the younger one spend some time just researching and learning about all the quirky things that interest her. Would it really be so bad?

I tried this last year, and it didn't go as I assumed it would.  The problem wasn't my daughter, it was me.  I began planning school books for what was supposed to be a delight directed study.  By the time it was done, my daughter wasn't following her own interests.  She was back to our curriculum.  I just couldn't let go like I should. 

But this year, I want to give her the chance.  Maybe both of them, to a degree.  I'll still have some structured assignments, because I am not brace enough to unschool entirely.  However, I do think it would be a nice change of pace.  If, come January, they aren't learning or seem to need more structure once again, back to the curriculum we can go.

I sure want my daughters to love learning again.  I want to see that spark in their eyes when they get excited about a topic. I want to see how they learn when it isn't spoon-fed to them.

This time, I'm not scared.