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Cocooned For a Time

It's time for honesty.
I have withdrawn.  I stopped seeking people.  I stopped chasing them.  Of course, a few people love me too much to let me hide from them.  For me, I feel as if I am at a point in my life where I am fine with spending time on my own, in my own world.  I am figuring out some stuff.  I am enjoying silence instead of chaos.  I am praying and spending time evaluating.  I am waiting to see what God will do next.
I am actively healing.  This means actively working on myself.  I have to, because the picture below describes so much of how I have felt for such a long time.

It is all lies... hate-filled, damaging lies that sent me spiraling into depression.  Why would I believe this about myself?  Because I have spent too long getting my worth from other people, and too many people don't know how to speak life to others.  Honestly, I stink at it also.  It is difficult to give what you have never received.

I am at a place in life where God is doing some stuff, but …
Recent posts

God Shouts in Our Pains

I watched my daughter go through weeks of testing and severe pain only to be told that they won't do anything until she meets with her GI specialist... next month. She has fought so hard, endured so much, and it honestly feels like no one will help her in her very well documented battle to survive.

The familiar feelings of rage and fear arise within and I try to distract myself with a book or a TV show.  Surely something will help.  I have prayed and prayed and watched this vibrant, quirky, intelligent, beautiful twenty-four year old girl get worse and worse.  I suddenly understand why people question the goodness of God, when suffering is in your face like this.  The images in the news containing war and famine seem so far away from our daily reality.  When others question why God allows suffering, I can give the "It's a fallen world" answer.

I thought the hardest thing I would ever deal with was being cheated on.  Then I thought the hardest thing I would ever endu…

Soul Care During Tough Times

I am the person that will put herself last when it comes to meeting the needs of those around me.  I have done it for a long time, and the result is usually I end up sick, unable to take care of anyone.  So, over the last few months, I have been determined to take more time for myself.  After all, I can't give to others if I am empty.

Taking care of yourself means different things to different people.  Some think it is about some pampering, with pedicures or spa days.  I think that is wonderful if you can afford to do so.  Some want to travel.  Some work out and drink more water.  Some gather a group of their friends and paint the town red.  All of these things are great if they are what fills you.

My personality is what is key to taking care of myself.  Different personalities fill up in different ways.  We find different things feed our souls.  For instance, I don't mind hanging out with friends, but large groups wear me out.  They drain me.  I can be in a group for awhile,…

The Highlight Reels

Every morning I look at the app on my phone called Timehop.  I see the pictures from years past that were taken on that day.  I see a glimpse of my life with my family through the years.  Sometimes those glimpses are humorous.  Other times they break my heart.  But every day I see part of my journey.

The pictures I have shared over the years on social media are the highlight reel.  I don’t have the pics of the dirty home or the times I lost my temper.  I don't often show the blurry pictures.  I don't even take pictures of the sickness or the times of financial struggle. Most of us don't easily share the mistakes, the tough times, the hurts.  We don't show the two days we laid on the couch binging on Netflix.   We show the pictures of smiling children, playful puppies, beautiful shots of nature, holidays, and special moments.

And that is perfectly fine.  Why?  Because we should be able to focus on the positive in life.  The negative will always be available, tempting u…

Any Dream Will Do

Sometimes a second chance can change a life.  Such is the case for Shay.  Convicted of embezzlement, she is released from jail to begin her life anew, as a felon.

She stumbles into a church and the pastor, Drew, helps her get into a program called New Hope.  This sets the stage for new beginnings for Shay and for Drew.  
This was my first Debbie Macomber novel.  I stumbled upon it at Walmart, in paperback.  As I read the synopsis and the first few pages, I knew I wanted this book in hardback.  So I ordered it, and prayed I wasn’t wasting my money.  
I enjoyed the story immensely. While it wasn’t all I hoped, it made some awesome points as the main character changed her life and the people around her lifted her up. I think we often forget how far we have come.  We often see that person we once were and not the person we have become through Christ.  And there are so many other people that will hold our pasts against us.
Shay faced these issues.  She faced them from the world, but I was…

Why Christians Need Story

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.  Revelation 12:11


It took Hollywood by surprise.The small movie, produced in 2006 for $100,000, made three million dollars in the first two weekends.  Facing the Giants was called the "Little Movie that Could," and it violated most of the rules for a blockbuster movie,  It  didn't have sex scenes.  It wasn't violent.  It wasn't marketed for children, though children could see it.  And, it targeted a small segment of the population... Christians.  The reviews from secular publications were not positive.  And yet, it ended up grossing over ten million dollars domestically.  It opened the door for other films to be made that shared the magic of story from a Christian point of view.

My bookshelves are full.  When I became a Christian, in my early thirties, I looked at my shelves of romance and action books, and I knew t…

Scripture Writing

It’s so simple, really.  I’ve done it before, but this time it is not a neat idea or a duty.  It is joy.
One of my favorite books is Safely Home by Randy Alcorn  The story is amazing.  Set in China, the story is about the persecution of Christians there.  In one part of the story, a section of a Bible is brought out.  It is handwritten.  When the main character asks why it was smudged, he is told those were the tear stains from the one that copied the words.
Since that time, I would often hand-copy Scripture.  But...  I wasn’t consistent.  Mostly I would hand-copy Scripture verses when I was studying and the verses pertained to the topic.  Hand-writing the verses always helped me to remember them.
In December, I was handed a printout of verses to write out as part of an actual Scripture writing plan.  
Our leader had made each lady a copy.  I decided that I would attempt to follow the plan and see how it went.  I bought a small journal for the very purpose of keeping the Scripture writing…