My husband and I have been married for eighteen years. In that time, there has been many changes in our lives. Such is life... change. In those years we have said good-bye to loved ones. Several have gone home to be with the Lord, including the two beloved faces above.
The two above were strong figures in our families. They were examples we often remember during times of struggle. They were known for being giving and loving and beautiful souls others wanted to be around.
Were they perfect? No. Their flaws and their histories made them compassionate and understanding. To this day, they are missed. To this day, we think of them on every holiday and birthday, weekends visiting each other... We tell stories of our precious memories with them. In this way, they live on, here in our hearts and memories. They left a legacy of faith and family and love. I can still hear their voices, even after five and nine years of passing time.
I sometimes wonder what advice they would have for us now. What would they say about the choices we have made in the years since? How would they react to our struggles? Our triumphs? Our frustrations? Our petty disputes? The children that have grown? The beautiful babies that have been born?
I wonder sometimes if, in heaven, the ones that have already completed the journey here get to know the ones that are on the way. Did my grandson meet his great-great grandma even before he was born? Did the newest great-niece, just months old, get to meet the great-grandpa that would have loved her so dearly?
One day, whether they met already or not, I pray they meet again, in a place I long for, at a homecoming more anticipated than any baby’s birth or soldier’s return.
What would they say to the loved ones still here, in this broken, cursed earth with sickness and fears and doubts and pain? What would they tell us when they see our struggles and hurts? We know they would rejoice over the gatherings and births and beautiful moments. I miss them at those times, because their absence is still felt so keenly. But I also miss them in the moments of confusion, when their wisdom could bring clarity. I miss them in the times of frustration, when their understanding and compassion were a healing balm. They are so missed...
I am not completely clueless about what they would say. None that loved them are completely uncertain. We knew what they believed. It was not a secret. We knew how they loved because it touched and impacted not just our lives, but countless others. We know, even still, that their prayers are still being answered, even after they have completed their journey.
We don’t always see those answered prayers on our timetable. Perhaps some, spoken in quiet, private moments, between a weeping follower and a merciful, loving Savior, are still unanswered. God, after all, doesn’t live in the bonds of our time table. A prayer yet unanswered when God calls His child home doesn’t mean that the prayer died also.
“He always stands by his covenant— the commitment he made to a thousand generations.”
Psalms 105:8 NLT
In the moments when I most long to hear the voice of a loved one, listen to their advice, have one more day; I feel the weight of their prayers spoken years ago. They prayed not prayers for only themselves. They prayed not for riches. They prayed for the very hearts and souls of their loved ones. They prayed for blessed lives and joy, sure. Mostly they prayed for the ones they loved to know the ultimate love... the love of Jesus.
No matter the doubts, the disbelief, and even the apathy of those that were prayed for, the prayers still happened. The prayers still have power. The prayers still stand, and God is still moving, still working, still answering, still honoring the heartfelt requests of those that chose to honor, love, and serve Him. Their pasts didn’t matter. Their circumstances didn’t matter. Their flaws didn’t matter. All that mattered was their hearts wanted Him, wanted their loved ones to know the freedom that comes from honoring, loving, and serving Him.
I remind myself often, especially in the heartbroken moments when all in my world seems to have changed, when all in my world is full of people that are angry or disappointed or depressed in some way, that the story isn’t finished yet. The chapters are still being written. The prayers that were said way back in time for us can still be answered. And if the prayers from the past can be answered, my prayers today can be answered.
“And if it doesn’t turn out like I think it should, that doesn’t change the fact Your always good. Your ways are higher than mine.”
Changes are difficult. Most of us struggle with change. We struggle with loss. We struggle with uncertainty. We feel overwhelmed by the chaos, defeated by the battles, and wounded by unexpected weapons and foes. And yet, I have seen forgiveness modeled for me. I have seen people live so well that there were very few in their world that didn’t long to give love back to them. Such was the example of the two pictured above. Such is the person I hope to be.
I work to give that same love to those around me. I fail, of course, but I keep working because to keep going is what I know to do. I choose to pray for loved ones with the same passion, the same devotion as those that walked before me, completely trusting the God that blessed me with the living examples he placed in my life. I hope my life honors the spiritual legacy of devoted loved ones, because I know that they honored Christ. How could I want any less for my own life?
Their journey home means I got to say, “See you later.” I know I will. I believe they would tell me lots of things. “Let go of anger.” “Love and serve the Lord.” “Always forgive.” “Trust in Him.” And while doing those things, I believe they would say, “Carry on.”
“Carry on with what I prayed.”
“Carry on with showing love to this broken world.”
“Carry on with cherishing the life He has blessed you with.”
“Carry on with walking out your journey for Him.”
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